My Meatless Monday was a fail. Seriously I tried, really I did. I really hoped I could do this but somehow all I could think about on Monday was meat. Who the hell thinks about meat? Undoubtedly, me because meat literally took over my mind and nothing seem to make not eating meat less painful for me.
First of all, I thought I would succeed but I didn’t realize my carnivore ways were so ingrained into my psyche it would be like giving up sex cold turkey. Yeah, it was that deep. I am a meat eater. I have always loved a good piece of meat with every meal. I would trade my cornbread with my sister for her meat. To this day I do not eat cornbread. They say when I was really small I was enamored with chicken and pork chops. So my life has been the consumption of meat, with every meal and every, single, solitary day. (When I was sick in December I didn’t eat meat for two days, because I couldn’t eat.)
I planned that weekend for a wonderful lineup of good food which would compensate for meat. If the meals are delicious and look amazing, why would I miss meat? As long as I am satisfied and my hunger is assuage, I will be great and when I write in my journal Monday night I can expound on how easy it was to go without meat for one day and feel great about it. I figured my diet change would garner me energy and endorphins which would be so amazing I would consider not eating meat another day in the week. Well…that didn’t happen. I began thinking about meat the moment I woke up Monday. Sighing…
Don’t get me wrong, my meals were tasty and quite satisfying, but I wasn’t going to rest if I didn’t get any meat. Seriously, I was dying for a piece of meat and when all you can do is think about the next piece of meat you are going to eat it is absolutely ridiculous. I really should be shame to even blog about this, but if nothing else I am honest. And honestly, I don’t think I will ever be able to go without meat. I haven’t had a steak since last year during the Spring, but baby on Monday all I could think about was a nice, medium-cooked, juicy New York Strip. What the hell? I imagine eating a platter of grill shrimp with grilled lobster tails. Or, how about a polish sausage covered in onions and peppers. Yeah, these type scenarios played out in my head until dinner.
Years ago, I tried to go to bed without meat. I wasn’t trying to not eat meat but I was really busy that day and I didn’t have time to fix some great meal with meat. I woke up in the middle of the night and scavenge until I found some lunchmeat in the refrigerator. Now that is beyond ridiculous, but I wasn’t going back to sleep without some meat.
After I couldn’t take it anymore, I texted my sister, “I failed at Meatless Monday.” I heated up 4 buffalo wings in the microwave. And if I didn’t have any meat in the house I would have gladly gotten in my car and went to the store. It was that serious. I should have felt guilty eating the wings and licking the buffalo sauce off my fingers, but I wasn’t. I was hungry for meat and nothing was going to stop my quest. All I had for dinner was those wings and I was satisfied.
I hate failing challenges. I really do. I realize I am not a non-meat eating person. I mean for breakfast it is either oatmeal, cream of wheat or grits, turkey bacon and coffee or hot chocolate. For lunch, I have some kind of meat with some veggies and dinner without meat is almost insulting to my being. So I am going to challenge myself to Almost Meatless Monday and keep my meat intake to 4 oz for the entire day. That maybe more workable then hopefully I can taper it down to 2 oz then to 0 oz within the next couple of months.
I know this may sound pitiful to some of you reading, but um I am not going to ever be a vegetarian or vegan. I love meat. That is all there is to it. So yes I failed Meatless Monday, but it wasn’t because I didn’t try, but my head was playing games all day and my body wasn’t going to allow me to rest without one piece of meat. Please note I eat vegetables and fruits every single day, but meat is a must…
P. S. After reading this I had some second thoughts about posting because it reads scintillating and salacious and I really am talking about food. This explanation probably made it worse. Have a great weekend!