Hate is such a strong word. It isn’t a word I use lightly either. There are things I dislike about myself, but hate…let me think about it.
I am entirely too impatient. I have the patience of a gnat. I pray constantly for patience. I watch myself slowly melt down because of my impatience. Road rage is common occurrence for me. This year I have tried to minimize the need to go the hell off while driving by leaving early and planning my trips properly. It works sometimes. When it doesn’t work is when I am leaving my second job and I am trying to get home before the idiots think it is okay to try to break into my house again and every damn light from the second job and home stops me. I am miserable. Absolutely miserable. I chant during these time patience and faith, faith and patience. However, usually by the fourth light I am in breakdown mode and I am screaming, cussing and near tears. Not a pretty sight. At. All. And when I leave my second job I try to practice being more patient. And I am finding the break downs being limited to about once or twice a week. Since I am getting to work on time I have mastered not screaming on the way to the day job, but baby if a train comes, OMG! I lose it. Last week I took a deep breath and practiced the chant, so I did good the first two delays by the train that week, but by Friday evening and I was waiting yet again for the train to go by I started cussing and then I started breathing deeply and gave the train 3 minutes and when the 3 minutes went by the train started speeding up and within 2 minutes I was on my way. Not too worse for wear, but it was getting there. So I thanked God for my small amount of patience.
I am a work in progress.