I need to really forgive and let go of my resentment for my sperm donor aka my father. In 2009 I wrote him a Dear Daddy letter, it is posted on the blogger site. Now if you read it, know I am not as angry as I was then.
I really want to truly forgive him in my heart and let it go! I do. Recently, playing on FB and bored one day, I decided to see if he was on there. You know FB is the devil, right? And sure enough, I looked at the page looked at the pictures and had a panic attack. One he was still alive and the little information I had on him was correct. I compared the picture I had and the ones posted on FB and I stared at them for a long time. I am always saying I am a great researcher and at that moment I was like I am really too good for my own good. I sent my sister the pictures for comparison hoping I was tripping. Guess what? It is him. Sighing.
I want to forgive him for not caring enough for his own child. I thought I had done so when I wrote that letter as a 40-year-old. However, there will always be that tinge of wanting to know how a man can have a child and not once acknowledge them or live life knowing they have a child and do absolutely nothing. Shouldn’t you have a conscious awareness of your blood and want to ensure them the best in life?
I do know forgiving him is not for him, but for me. I am sincerely working on it.