Home » Uncategorized » Your First Lizard Tale…

Your First Lizard Tale…

I was hoping to have a picture to go along with this story, but it wasn’t to be.

On my way to my second job I have to stop by the house and change clothes and make my house unattractive to thieves. When I got there, I do what I like to do on the days I have to go to the other job, and that is go check on my plants.  Seeing as they were good to go because of the light rain we had that day, I headed to the front porch.  As I approached, my mouth dropped open and a small scream escaped.  There on my welcome mat was a lizard.  All kinds of hyperventilating was happening.  I looked around as usual hoping one of the few the crackheads (yes, they are really crackheads) was around but whenever I have a lizard issue, they seemed to vanish but any other day I am outside they want something for me.  I then had to make myself calm the hell down and figure out what to do, because that damn lizard was keeping me out of my home and that is so not cute.  I also realized the sucker was dead as in DEAD and ain’t coming back to life.

For a brief moment, I just thought about not being able to get into the house, and then I was like pull your big girl panties up and handle this.  So I gingerly picked up the mat and shook it hard enough to launch the lizard, but not enough to make it come in my direction.  Yeah, you get it.  It landed on the side of my brick planter on its back, dead as dead can be.  I know I wasted 10 minutes messing around with that lizard so now I had to really rush to get to work on time.

You know I checked on that lizard as soon as I left to go to work and when I returned.  It was still on its side, dead.  This morning I was going to attempt to capture a picture of the lizard on its back dead, but when I got outside the damn thing was gone.  Nowhere to be seen.  I kinda shrugged my shoulders and still kept looking for it as I got into my car.  I told my co-worker I wonder if one of the stray cats left it as a gift for me and when it realized I didn’t want it took it back.  Shrugging…who knows?

So here is your first lizard story of the season. Yeah. No.


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