Randoms…January to Now


Look how beautiful the sky appeared on Friday afternoon!

I know my one follower who still follows, misses me.  So I decided to write something, blog something.  Hell, it is gorgeous outside and I thought about my neglected blog.  I am such a bad blog parent, but the way the world is right now…it is hard to write something that isn’t filled with visceral rants and depressive thoughts.  I am discombobulated about what I am seeing and feeling and it ain’t good.  However, I am going to attempt to fill you in on what has been going on in my life for the last month.


A day of service…

I saw The Guy on January 14th as he showed off his new car, plus he was celebrating a birthday.  He is getting old!  On January 18th, I did my day of service by working with Hands Across River Region in helping to make toiletry bags for the homeless.  Did you know in my county they actually go out once a year and count the homeless? When they do, they give them bags of items that will be most useful to them.  I am going to ask my book club to donate tooth brushes and tooth paste and mouthwash, because those are the items they need and don’t get much of. I enjoyed doing this with students from elementary schools as well as Alabama State University.  They even fed the volunteers, but you know I didn’t stay for that but it was a nice gesture.  I had Vn Pho here in Montgomery for the 1st time in January, which means I have had it a couple times prior to this date.  Since January 20th, I have been in some state of mourning over President Obama.  However, I must move on.  Oh, Aloha had her first birthday.  Y’all, she is something else.  She is walking, talking and still going to be on the cover of Time magazine!


Aloha is a year old!


Lil Princess aka Aloha…


I have been cooking a bit more.  Not much more though.  Shrimp and grits and baked spaghetti with whole wheat noodles, ground turkey and turkey pepperoni and anything simple like baked chicken.


Shrimps and grits


Baked spaghetti

I promise I am going to do a post about having Sisterlocks for 10 years.  I am still trying to convince my Consultant to cut my hair.  She just told me no again on yesterday.  Imma cut this hair so I can wear cute hair styles, hell!


Long 10 year old Sisterlocks


10 Year Old Sisterlocks

Seriously, it is hard to write when your heart is filled with angst and anger.  I need to write a book review and a restaurant review too!  I am so behind, but today I decided to write just a little bit so I know I can still do it even if it is a bit choppy.


I have been so busy…

Today is beautiful.  The sun is shining brightly ignoring the darkness over Washington, DC.  It is a warm 79 degrees; folks are walking around in sandals and flip flops.  Me, I have on long sleeves, trouser socks and closed toe shoes.  I ain’t going to let Mother Nature trick me because one week we are cold and another week we are summer time warm.  I can say winter wasn’t too bad.  We may have had a month of cold weather spread out from October to now.  However, what does this mean for summer?  You all know I ain’t about the heat.

I hope where ever you live your day is as beautiful as mine and you get to enjoy some of it today whether you are working or not.  Until my next post…


I have an Instagram account…Cashanamusings.



Surprised…Thursday Randoms…

We had a really good book club meeting Saturday. The book we discussed, and we do discuss the books, was Stand Your Ground by Victoria Christopher Murray.  Good book for discussion.  I had a difficult time finishing the book because the issues portrayed were hitting too close to what is happening today.

Been a busy week as I try to get a multitude of things done as the weekend approaches and I get even busier.

I have a very painful pimple on my face. What the hell?  Ugh!  I am too old for this.

This week after Lala said she was going to slap someone’s face, we weren’t sure who she was talking to, she let us know she was losing her mind. She better have been…LOL!

Yesterday was Hunny Bunny’s birthday and she is 12 years old. Lawd, the time is moving on.

I love when folks give me advice about my future car purchase. I have my mind set on the car I want and I buy cars I can afford and can afford to maintain and repair.  Thanks!  Y’all pray for me.

This cruise is quickly approaching. I have so much to do.  I have laid out my nightly outfits and some of my daily outfits.  I keep thinking I need a new pair of heels.  Probably will not get any though, plus I haven’t been wearing heels for a while now.  Although my ankle finally healed from the December fall, I have still been babying it.  Right now my mind needs to be on cleaning my house.  The more I do now, the less I have to do for Thanksgiving.

My cooking mojo is gone. I do not feel like ever cooking anymore.  I think it has to do with me not wanting to eat anything.  I am over most of my food likes and choices.  Sighing…I still ain’t losing weight so I am eating.

I need to work on my makeup idea for the dress up night on the boat. I know it will be a smoky eye, but I want my eyes to be amazing.

I am finally getting a Colour Pop Ultra Matte Lipstick in More Better. That sucker has been on backorder for a while, but when I got that email they were restocked I hopped my happy behind right over there to get that $6 matte.  I am so into the matte look on my lips and it is no joke.  Plus, the price is right and the product is good.

Thanksgiving is next month and I have done absolutely nothing. Nothing.  Zilch.  Nada.  You get the point.  I need to be buying butter, eggs, flour, and yeast and watching the papers for sales.  I will start as soon as I complete my vacation.  I really ain’t going to have much of a choice though.  I need to buy some chickens to lay eggs because eggs are still too expensive.

I still haven’t activated my Samsung 6. I am still waiting on my case.  Sighing…Tomorrow they say, we will see.

When I was writing my series about NOLA and Janet Jackson, I felt as good as I did when it happen. The experience is still with me.  I had the best time.  Plus, my ass really wants to go back to Willie Mae’s, I want some chicken and them butter beans.  My mouth is watering for them right now.

My kids on my 2nd job have worked my nerves lately.  They are so immature.  When I was their age I was mature because I was responsible for me, not my aunt and uncle.  They do not understand consequences.  When I get on them, which I sometimes do on purpose, they get so mad they work harder.  The thing is if they are honest, they know I am telling them the truth.  Their feelings are so easily hurt, but they don’t think I am disappointed in their actions.

No Empire last night, boo! I watched AHS, they do the most on there, but I keep watching.  Tonight is Scandal and HTGAWM and I am so looking forward to it.

I hope you have a great rest of the week and a fun weekend. Don’t forget to Fall Behind on your clocks on Sunday.

Mini photo shoot before book club! My hair stays up now.

Creative Cooking…Stromboli


Recently, a few of us from the office went to Midtown Pizza Kitchen for lunch and I had my first Stromboli.  Oh my goodness was it amazing.  All I could think about was recreating it at home.  Let’s face it, I haven’t felt inspired to create a dish in a long time.  Frankly, my taste buds just are bored by my food choices.  So calculating what I would have to do and hitting up Pinterest for recipes, I decided to wing it and make my own Stromboli.

First of all, we had to ask the waitress was the difference was between a calzone and a Stromboli and Stromboli is rolled and calzones are folded.  Alright then…LOL!

Here is my recipe without my pizza dough recipe.  If you have a pizza dough recipe you like, use it and if making pizza dough from scratch isn’t your thing you can buy dough from your local grocer.  At my local Publix, they even sell whole wheat dough as well.  So the dough is up to you.


Pizza dough

Marinara sauce (I use Bertolli Marinara sauce with Burgundy Wine)

Hot Italian sausage (browned)

Bacon (Precooked real bacon bits)



Mozzarella cheese

Cup of cut up onions, red and green bell peppers

Caramelized onions

Roma tomatoes (sliced thinly)

Olive Oil

Garlic butter

Preheat oven to 475 degrees

While my dough was rising (I actually used quick yeast packages), I browned my sausage and then caramelized my onions.  And I drained the excess grease from my sausage.

                                                                  Freshly rolled into a rectangle…

I split my dough in half (you will see I undoubtedly don’t know what half is…smh!) and rolled the first piece into a rectangle.  Not too thin and not too thick.  Then I placed a thin layer of marinara on 2/3rds of the rectangle and on the last 1/3rd I placed the garlic butter.  Then I started layering my ingredients saving enough for the second Stromboli.  A small amount of mozzarella cheese, then browned sausage, caramelized onions, sliced mushrooms, onions, bacon, red and green peppers, pepperoni, Roma tomatoes and the rest of the mozzarella cheese.

Marinara over 2/3rds of the dough

My toppings

Then I started to roll from the short side of the rectangle as tight as I could without puncturing my dough.  Once it was rolled, I placed it on my cookie sheet lined with parchment paper.  Then I did the second one and there was plenty of room on the sheet for the other Stromboli.  Then I slathered garlic butter over both Stromboli and sprinkled Italian season on the top.  Then with a sharp knife I cut slices for ventilation on them.  I cooked them for about 15 to 20 minutes or until brown and dough is cooked.  Remember your ingredients are already done.

Freshly slathered in garlic butter, sprinkled with Italian seasoning and vented

I let them cool slightly and sliced.

Yes, they look good!

Verdict:  It is my recipe.  I loved it.  You can use whatever ingredients you want.  I knew I wanted my favorite pizza toppings and wanted to add that extra dose of flavoring from the caramelized onions.  I am sure you can use the canned pizza dough, but seriously pizza dough is really easy to make and is worth it in my opinion.  I actually keep a ball or two of dough in my freezer for those moments I want homemade pizza.  I see this in rotation at least twice a year with changing up the ingredients as well.  To think it all came about because I went out to lunch.  I probably should do that more often.  Let me know if you try it!

  Look at the layers


Ready to eat…

P. S. I am going to stop being lazy and use my better camera for food pictures…

Rambling…Monday Will One Day Be the Best Day of the Week

Yes it is That long…

I had a fantastic weekend.  I may not have done all I wanted to do, but I was blessed enough to be able to do what I could.

I was prepared to volunteer for the Joy to Life Walk.  I had my clothes ready and alarms set.  Well…all Friday I kept checking my email waiting on an assignment to come through.  I kept going to the website to make sure I had read the information about volunteers correctly.  I never got confirmation I could volunteer or what use I would be to them the day of the walk.  So when I woke up, I thought about all I had to do I made the decision to not got to the riverfront and end up coming back home because they couldn’t use me.  I hate I missed out on the opportunity, but I figured there was a reason.  A couple of my book club members were frustrated as well because they signed up to volunteer before the walk and they got no calls, emails or information on what capacity they would be of use.  This happened last year and I guess since I didn’t call them like last year they didn’t worry about it.

So I took the time to put the geraniums into the planters on the front porch.  As soon as I cleaned the planters out, the owner of the corner house across the street came over to talk about how the teenagers had messed up the inside of the house by tearing up the sheetrock and he was finally going to fix the house up to sale.  He first must put burglar bars around the entire house so they can bring in supplies and begin the process of renovating.  Then my other neighbor came over to tell me some teenagers threw a brick into her window the night before.  She was home.  Because of her double pane windows, it is difficult to break the glass, the brick did shatter the inner window and bounced right back outside.  Luckily, her brother wasn’t home sitting in his usual seat in front of that window because he would have been injured.  She was mad because she is 79 years old and if she had the money to start another mortgage she would because she just hates living in our neighborhood.  I understand her feelings.  One shouldn’t feel like that about a home they worked hard to maintain and have teens with no respect for property or authority harass her regularly.  The problem is the culprits are the teens across the street from her that are wreaking havoc on her.  You see, she was at home this time and it makes no sense to do what they did knowing she was in there unless it was to scare her…They make me sick.

When I looked at my clock I realized it was after 10 am and I had errands to run and a house to finish cleaning.  I managed to get everything done and as I was getting my book club meeting stuff together, I realized I didn’t stop at the dollar store to pick up some certificate frames.  Shoot!  I wasn’t going back out and I was starting to get that panic feeling one gets when they feel like they will not get everything done.  I mean the devil showed up to harass me and all I could do was shake my head and not allow the devil to win.  He didn’t.

I managed a nice 30 minute nap.  No seriously, that is the only nap I took this entire weekend.  It was time to get ready for book club.  I was trying in vain to leave by a quarter to 6, but hell I tried but I was pulling out of my drive way at 5:55 pm.  Look the meeting was way on the other side of town and I didn’t want to rush.  I didn’t but the traffic was a mess.  Also, I wish the Maps/Navigation app on my phone would stop with all the damn changes.  I had a hard time getting my mine on my phone to work, so frustration ensued.  Let me vent for a moment, can the apps stop updating every damn day.  Seriously, the changes aren’t necessary every damn day.  Nobody has time to update every day.  No I do not allow them to update without permission because updates will not use up my data if I am not on Wi-Fi.  Some updates will mess up your phone and you are thinking it is your phone but really it is an app that is causing the disruptions such as hanging up or shutting down for no damn reason. Just stop it.  Please and thank you. ***Vent over!

Book club was pretty good.  Only one member was absent.  Folks didn’t love the book, but most finished it.  It was a story about BDSM in the Atlanta black community.  Now, initially I was intrigued (although I didn’t vote for the book) about what information I could get about the community.  However, the story was disjointed with too many characters and some of the situations were just too farfetched for me and others to believe.  Since this was our business meeting, it was nice to get those business items completed early in the meeting.  We actually finished pretty early.  And folks I came back home and of course took a few more selfies before getting ready for bed.  I was sleep before midnight.  I was done for the day.

Sunday was nice and sweet.  I got up early to watch Osteen, and then I did some prepping for work.  I would have worked in the raised garden but it had rained the night before and the ground was just too soggy for all that.  And with the jungle in my yard…things are getting sketchy for me to finish.  Some of those weeds come up to my knees.  Side-eye…Seriously, with the rain forecast we can’t cut the grass.

After a few obligations, I was able to wash my hair and sit under my dryer for 45 minutes so my hair could dry.  Amazing.  Now don’t get me wrong it wasn’t completely dry, but it was dry before I went to bed and baby that is amazing when I usually have to blow dry it.  Not on Sunday.  The Guy should have been there to help me.  I think he purposely doesn’t want to come over when it is hair washing day.  It ain’t the washing that is the problem, it is the drying.  I told him I would show him how to retighten it so he can do that.  His response was maybe, which means someday, which means never.  LOL!

I cooked my dinner/lunch and got my food ready for work as well.  I made homemade lemonade too.  I still want a Meyer’s lemon tree.  Then I realized it was 6 pm.  And I was bored.  What do folks do on Sunday night?  Geez!  You can only watch so much Intervention and HGTV.

I polished my nails and talked to family members before a long hot bath, finished a book and time for bed.

And it is now Monday.  One day Monday is going to be the best day of the week.

From my mini selfie shoot…LOL!

Your Valentine’s Randoms…

Waving…Hey everybody! 

I have been so busy working on book club stuff, watching my shows, falling in love with plus size bloggers, working two jobs and other stuff I have been neglecting my blog.  Can’t I just live though?  Just kidding saw that on President Obama’s Buzzfeed video.  Tickled me to death.

I am trying to keep my head up as we approach this 3 day weekend, but y’all when I woke up this morning the temperature was 28 degrees and was 30 when I made it to work.  I can’t deal.  I am sitting in my office with the space heater toasting my feet.  That groundhog last week…Ugh!  Mind you Saturday and Sunday it was upper 60s lower 70s.  Geez!

Why is it when you go to the ATM you must get a minimum of $20?  I only want $10.

I have had enough of Olivia being kidnapped on Scandal.  No really.  I told The Guy I would return to drinking next week because this storyline is doing too much and HTGAWM is winding down to its last 2 episodes I believe I can keep up now.  Further, the scene with Huck should have been upsetting to me, but y’all I started laughing, uncontrollably.  I don’t think I was supposed to do that.  My jaw dropped to the floor with the last few minutes of HTGAWM, lawdy!  Annalise is something else.

Empire…OMG!  Cookie gives me life.  And encouragement to work out so my body can look good wearing se.xy underwear.  Then Raven…oops!  Olivia in the last few minutes.  Can we talk though?  That baby don’t look like Jamal, I am just saying.  The music gives me life and now my Wednesday night for an hour is tied up with another captivating show.

             Blueberry Muffins…

I made blueberry muffins after seeing them on Creole in DC’s blog.  I made them the 1st time with baking soda when it was supposed to be baking powder.  I did them again this week the right way; I like the baking soda texture better.  A mistake that was just right!

          Shrimp with corn grits…

I made some shrimp and grits last week, but I made the grits with corn mixed in and the dish came out pretty tasty.

Nope didn’t watch the Grammy’s.  Didn’t really care about them one way or another.  Music as a whole sucks.

There was a Janet Jackson sighting this week.

I hope the young lady with the 4 kids gets a financial advisor and a portion of her money is put into a trust.  I have seen too many shows where the lottery winners are broke within a few years.  Further, I would not have come out in fact I would pick up my winnings anonymously months after I acknowledge I won.  You know relatives you haven’t seen your entire life will have a sob story on why you must share the riches.  My folks would get a little money and then I would disappear only to appear during the holidays.  What?  I ain’t no sucker.

Today is payday.  I am going to act like it isn’t until the actual day, Feb. 16th.  Folks gonna be broke quick.

Sometimes folks need to hit bottom so they can learn they can get up.

I want a Meyer’s lemon tree.  I just don’t know if I can actually take care of it.  I mean my geraniums are dead; two of my rose bushes are dead.  My poor peace lily is trying to hang on.  We shall see.

I waited too long to do my retightening of my Sisterlocks, but they are done.  Thank goodness.

My ankle is still hurting me time to time.  On Wednesday, that sucker was throbbing, the hell?

My Fitbit keeps up with my sleep habits.  Seriously, this week has been hit or miss.  Tuesday night I only woke up once and was restless 4 times.  That was good sleep.  Last night, 7 times awake and 17 restless.  I was up all damn night.  Tossing and turning.  I was hot, shit.  Seriously, I cannot sleep with the heat on, my body can’t deal.  Who wakes up sweating in the winter? I am going to meet my goals this month.

I am taking a multivitamin.  Energy level is better, but I guess it is time to add the B-12 back.  Let’s see how it does.

Yesterday, the male security guard said I had the most beautiful smile.  Aah…he blessed me to smile more yesterday.  Today, it is cold, enough said.

Last Saturday we had a store meeting at my 2nd job.  Ugh!  I was so damn cranky and tired.  I tried to be upbeat, but I was too mad I couldn’t sleep in.  By the time I got home, I was hungry, tired and over it.  I couldn’t eat and get to sleep fast enough.

My niece sent her mother a picture of herself and she thought it was me.  Smh!  I don’t wear red lipstick.  I used to until it broke my lips out.  Remember Cherries Jubilee by Avon (no endorsement)?  You don’t, probably because you are much younger than me.  I wore that throughout high school, and then my lips started acting funny.  I stopped and got my Fashion Fair on.  LOL!

If you have been reading my blog for years, you know I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.  However, I have folks who have taken off for the day on the 2nd job, which is fine.  I will be working.  If you celebrate, enjoy!

Happy New Year! (Long and picture heavy)

Christmas flow…

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

I hope you had a wonderful holiday season filled with joy, family and peace.  I can say my holiday was wonderful.  Good food, friends, family and peace.  Oh, and I got plenty of rest, the benefits of living alone.  LOL!  I am going to tell you right now this is going to be long.  I have a lot to catch you up on so let’s go!

After Thanksgiving, I am in holiday decorating and get ready for the annual book club meeting mode.  What I didn’t count on was the anemia the effects of being tired into my plans.  Basically, I found myself having to pace myself and when I was tired, I rested.  I really didn’t care for this type of detour, but I didn’t have much of a choice.

Since I was making my gifts for the book club members again, I had to do a plan run.  I decided to make body butter this year.  The first run was okay, but not the consistency I wanted so I knew I needed to crank up the Kitchen Aid for the best results.  Learning my lesson from last year, I ordered my items and had them shipped to my second job.  It really took the pressure off me worrying about if my stuff was going to be stolen.  PTSD is real folks.  Anyway, I made the body butter over two nights and it came out wonderfully.  I am so proud of myself.  Here is a picture.  I should have taken a picture with the label and everything on it.  I wrapped them simply in colored tissue paper and ribbon.  Go me!  The ladies loved it.

Georgia Peach Body Butter

I also had to prepare for my marathon cookie baking night so the weekend before that day; I made up batches of dough and froze them.  Prepping ahead of time helped me tremendously on marathon day.  I had five varieties of cookies:  Chocolate Chip Toffee Nut, Triple Ginger, White Chocolate Toffee Macadamia Nut, Chocolate Mint and Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Raisin.  I may not be a baker, but I can make some tasty cookies.  I guess the kids appreciated them.  The reason I say I guess is this group is the most selfish and inconsiderate group of folks I have had a pleasure of working with on my 2nd job.  No, really.  Normally, they see me coming with the cookies and they meet me at my car to take them inside the store.  I had to literally ask one them to get the cookies from me as they watched me bring them into the store.  Then they proceeded to bag up cookies, which meant the folks working the next day wouldn’t get any.  I had to put a stop to that.  In the years I have been doing this, no one has ever done what they azzes did.

The cookies…

The cookies from the side…

Besides the gifts for the book club members I had to prepare my food for them as well.  Luckily, one of my former members wanted to try some new recipes on the group so I was so thankful for her help.  I also cut back on some things as well.  If they don’t eat the stuff I didn’t make the stuff.  Meatballs are off the list for next year.  LOL!  I did a Srichachi Chicken recipe, which was tasty but not spicy enough for me and I did Bang Bang Shrimp as well.  Let’s just say when I went to clean up, there wasn’t much food to put up they had grazed completely.  I am so glad I was taught to put some food up and never to put all your food out.  Our meeting was really good because we discussed Debbie Doesn’t Do it Anymore by Walter Mosley, I really loved this story by him.  One day, I will write the review for Ptolemy Grey because seriously the Easy Rawlins and Leonid McGill stories are good, but his other stories are better.    The day after book club I slept.  I was TIRED!

The spread…well just the food the desserts were on a side table/buffet…

Book Club flow…

After the book club meeting, it was time to get ready for Christmas and since I was hosting I had to do a quick clean up in preparation.  I was doing my usual yeast rolls and sweet potato soufflé.  So when I got off work on Christmas Eve, I got down to getting everything ready.  This worked out really well because I took a nap before I began the cooking as I said before naps help the energy.  By the time family arrived on Christmas, I was bursting with anticipation.  I just wanted to spend time with my family and of course see my club buddy, Carson.  Dinner was amazing it was just wonderful to spend time with family and the atmosphere was electric.  I was thanked by everyone for coming up with the idea.  I think they were surprised at all the decorations as well as how well I keep the house.  We had a ball folks.  Even when Carson was having a temper tantrum it was blissful.  And guess what?  The cleanup was minimal.  Everyone who brought a dish took what was left back home and I gave away the soufflés and most of the rolls.  Yes!  Luckily, I was off from my main job the next day so I rested until time to go to the 2nd job.











Carson…I called his name and he stopped to focus on the camera, for real!


Me on Christmas Day…

Next up was getting ready for New Year’s Day.  For me means, cleaning the house and snatching down the Christmas decorations.  Can someone tell me why it takes me hours to put up the decorations but only takes 30 to 40 minutes to snatch them down and box them up?  I kept putting it off for days, but I got it done by Monday because I just refused to take down decorations and have to clean on Wednesday.  On New Year’s Eve, I left work early and hit the grocery store, sighing.  I am so over my grocery store dilemma.  I got a few items and of course my poster board so I could do my vision board.  Then I got home and took a short nap (I am getting kinda shame to keep saying how many naps I have taken.).  I got up and changed linens, washed linens, washed clothes, mopped & waxed floors, vacuumed, clean bathrooms, cleaned the kitchen and did my vision board and was finished before 10 pm.  I then took a long bath and tried to stay awake until midnight with a glass of wine.  I barely made it.  I talked to one cousin and the other one said she called me at 1 am.  I was like baby I was sleep.  Yes, they did the obligatory gun shots but they were finished well before I went to sleep.  Why do they do this though?

For Lala’s birthday, her mom took her and her sisters to Disneyland and she thought this box was her present…LOL!


Hunny Bunny texted me this picture when they were headed to Disneyland showing off her outfit. She is too cute and y’all the fedora I got her for Christmas probably made me the cool aunt for few minutes!



My sister and her girls! Why is Birthday girl looking like this????

Now the holidays are over.  It was a good season.  Not a perfect season, but a good one.  I spent a lot of time with family and I think for me, was most important.  No resolutions, but I plan to take 2015 as if it is a job.  I want to cross off some goals and enjoy living life.  Trying to not take negative baggage with me through the New Year and keep striving to be the best person I can be.  So following the course set by God, I am ready for whatever is ahead!

One more picture of Carson, coloring on my money envelop, on my leg, while telling me the colors of the crayons…

My Illusive Christmas Spirit

             My tree, closer look next week…

Thanksgiving drained so much out of me trying to gear up for Christmas has been hard, y’all!  My house is decorated, I have already hosted the yearly holiday book club meeting, and I gifted the workers on my second job a tray of homemade cookies and received my final Christmas gifts in the mail on yesterday.

A couple of weeks ago, my cousin who normally hosts the Christmas dinner, called to tell me since her shoulder surgery, she just wasn’t capable of undertaking such a large event.  So, she decided she would cook at home for her family and I and everyone else should do the same.  What, now?  I listened to her and then I said, “Well, that makes things easier for you, but now I have to prepare food for two houses because I will see Carson on Christmas day.”  She hadn’t thought of that and she went to asking about me not fixing as much stuff, but I knocked all that down because if I have to prepare for two houses how can I not make the same amount of food?  Anyway, I told her I understood, but in actuality I didn’t.  How the hell you don’t feel like cooking but you are going to cook for your family and me?  You aren’t making sense!  Her sister offered to host it at her house and she just brings the ham, she vetoed the idea.  And when I heard about it, I just expressed that in all the 30 years I have been back in Montgomery, we have always ate Christmas dinner together with the family in town and I know my aunt would be disappointed in the events about to take place.  We only get together now twice a year Thanksgiving and Christmas, we were the Soul Food family, we ate Sunday dinner together every Sunday until my aunt got sick.  I don’t know but Christmas is my favorite holiday and not celebrating it together as a family, struck the wrong cord in my heart.

So contemplating and praying, I talked with my sister and decided I would throw out having dinner at my house, which is the family house, because one it will be decorated and clean.  And everyone just bring a dish, almost like Sunday dinner.  When I mentioned it to the other sister she loved the idea and even brought up starting back on our Sunday dinner tradition.  Um, I said no, because Sunday is my one rest day and I ain’t cooking every Sunday and I am peculiar about my house and some of my family ain’t, I am just saying.  So when my cousin called me about something offbeat, I offered up the suggestion and she cried.  Yeah, this whole thing was more than not feeling up to cooking, what it was I do not know exactly.  We agreed and the items she was cooking she will bring to the house.  It works for everyone because we will be together for a few hours.  And everyone must bring a dish.  She asked was I going to cook for everyone and I was like, um hell no.  I would have just hosted my book club meeting and it is pretty costly and to do a real dinner is costly as well.  And frankly I just don’t have the energy to do it.

So now you would think Christmas was running all threw my soul, but alas it isn’t.  I am just tired folks.  This anemia rears its ugly head at the most inopportune times.  It literally sucks the life out of you.  When I am not feeling the effects I am a busy machine, when it is showing out I am taking frequent breaks, which suck!  I am also dealing with some other emotional things going on in my life.  With so much negativity going on right now on television and social media, I have somehow allowed it to seep into my being and that is a no-go for the holiday season.  I have so much to be thankful for and God has truly blessed me in so many ways.  Although, everything isn’t perfect I still have a reason to smile.

So on this Christmas Eve, I declare to enjoy my family tomorrow before they get on my very last viable nerve, live in the moment and remember the reason for the season.  Until next week when I come back rambling about what I have been up to these last two weeks…Merry Christmas!