I Really Am Back, but…

I have to work on my 10 year Sisterlock anniversary blog.  I need to talk about this New Year.  I wish I could talk about the clusterfuck that is our three branches of government.  I am hoping I can do a farewell letter to President Obama.  There is so much I need to write, but I am sad, yet again.

Next week we say goodbye to President Obama.  And we are in anomaly of uncertainty with a government that is operating in manner that is so outside of the realms of normality.  I am going to miss the calmness and levelness of his demeanor.  Right now y’all have an incoming elected official tweeting…like that is Presidential.  So, yes I am feeling dark right now and can’t write like I want to.  I am sorry and I hope I can pull myself out of this nightmare that is really life right now.

Look Auburn and Alabama lost.

We experienced winter this past Friday and weekend for it to be currently 66 degrees.

The earth is off its axis, obviously.  And so am I.  I will be back to make you laugh, think and learn, however, I ain’t in the mood right now.

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Blogmas Day 21: Holiday/Winter Blues

Tis the season to be jolly and decking the halls, but this season for some people also brings on the blues. It’s a feeling of sadness which seems to come out of nowhere and envelops some people.  I find sometimes the holidays bring on a bit of melancholy and for the most part I can shake it off, but not everyone can.

This type of blues is a form of depression that can linger for some and move on with others. We all handle things differently and what may work for me may not work for you.  When I feel the holiday blues tapping on my shoulders, it is usually when the weather is dark, wet and cold.  I feel overwhelmed with negative emotions and all I want to see is the sun, no amount of Christmas decorations or songs can make it go away.  I know I didn’t get this feeling as much when I was able to give more.  I prefer to give presents and living on a tight budget doesn’t make it easy.  I love to see folk’s faces when they receive a thoughtful gift, now I am surrounded by folks who are my age or older watching the children and the elderly receive gifts.  I am not jealous; I am just upset I couldn’t do more.

Last year, Christmas Eve was bad. It stormed and we had flash floods all day.  My phone’s weather app was going off every hour stirring up my anxiety and scaring the shit out of me.  All I wanted was a Chic Fi la sandwich but because of the weather I didn’t dare leave the house.  The rain of the week had me all in my feelings.  I was sad.  No other words for it.  Yes, I missed my aunt and my uncle but I was just sad because the day was wet and dark.  However, Christmas morning was sunny and bright and my mood was much better.

A few years ago, it was another dark, overcast Christmas Eve and I was just upset all day. I felt alone, which is a rare feeling for me, an introvert.  I even had a boyfriend at the time.  Yet, I felt the sadness of being alone.  And the next day as I made my way over to my cousin’s house in the rain, I felt just blue and not because I was alone but just not my usual jolly loving Christmas self.  I think I felt like that because I had to go to work the next day, but still I was truly sad.  I remember going to bed that night thankful I made it through the day because I was seriously over Christmas.

I wrote all this to say there are people who deal with issues just like you do. The holiday blues are real and they haunt some of us for differing reasons.  Some years are better than others, but each time I have found my way to claw, crawl and emancipate myself from the darkness of my emotions.  I just wished it wasn’t dependent on whether the sun comes out or not.  The last couple of days my anxiety has been strong, but it has been raining off and on for days but looking out my office window today and seeing the sun has settled me some and I can only imagine what a few more days of sun will do for me.

Some February Randoms…

And like that…it is February. Where the hell did January go?

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Really, February you here already?

This week the weather has been flip flops and shorts and this morning I wake up to my heat on and the need for a coat and gloves. I just can’t.

I am craving Golden Oreos…you know what time it is right?

I was such a bitch at my 2nd job on Tuesday.  However, those kids were getting on my nerves.  I kept saying these are not the folks I had scheduled to work and they are on my nerves!  Plus, I wasn’t feeling great.

I woke up the next day, which was Wednesday, and was still feeling bad but determined to make it to work. I even put on a full face of makeup and because I was so nauseous I knew it was a wrap.  I tried.  I called in and then slept until after noon.  I was really sick and the only way to not feel nauseous was to sleep.  My sister asked what I ate and I said my usual, but I remembered immediately then I had 4 deviled eggs with my lunch the day before.  Shit!  Eggs really do not like me at all.  I am done, seriously because I do not want to ever feel like that again.

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Meet Aloha…aka Alaura

Well, my sister had her baby girl, Alaura Charlise. She came 7 weeks early.  You know Martin Luther King Day, well she had her early Tuesday morning.  The Tuesday before that, her water broke so she was in the hospital until they induced her.  Well, Aloha is here.  Yes, I have already given her a new name.  I just don’t call them by their given name.  Ask Lala…even she knows to just answer.  The baby came home from the NIC Unit on last week.  My cousins are down in NOLA helping my sister right now.  And um,…yeah they are team too much!

Looks like her sisters are going to be good with her.

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Lala and Hunny Bunny holding Aloha…

Why am I not there helping? First of all, I don’t know nothing about taking care of little babies anymore.  I ain’t changing a diaper or any of that stuff.  My last child is almost 30 years old…LOL!  Frankly, I got to work because I still need to get a car.

Speaking of a car this guy from the neighborhood stopped me one afternoon and asked if I was selling my car and I said I wasn’t thinking about do it, but I could change my mind. Why did this mutherf… come to my house Monday night, after 8 pm asking me about the car?  First of all, I do not answer my door if you do not announce yourself.  Further, who comes to someone’s house about business outside of business hours?  Finally, I do not know your ass and leave me the hell alone!  If I was to sell the car to him he would be at my house as soon as shit goes wrong.  I am not selling my car I am going to trade it in for the little bit if any money they will give me for it.  I got great use out of my car almost over 17 years.  Ugh!  My people are so uninformed.

I need to get excited about the elections, but I can’t. I thought Sanders was going to be more to my liking but he said the wrong damn thing about taxing my ass.  So back to Hillary.  Lawd, it is a struggle to deal with this election.

I was in tears yesterday over the passing of Maurice White of Earth, Wind and Fire. I grew up with that music and although he hadn’t performed with the band for many years, I will always remember his big afro and stylings.  Rest in Heaven.

Folks are dying every day. While walking Monday afternoon, I spoke with this lady who works in another agency in our building, I usually speak and smile when I see her during my walks.  This day she made a statement to the fact it was the end of the day and time to go home for good, which was weird to me, but I smiled and told her to have a good evening.  Y’all she died that evening after she got home from work.  I was in tears Tuesday.  May she rest in peace.  Her passing reminded me of how important it is to be kind to people.

I love my Fitbit and I love the folks at Fitbit. My tracker was draining so fast after a recent update that I had to charge my tracker every 2 days and for me that was a problem.  I had to drop out 3 challenges the other week because my tracker was low before noon and I didn’t have my charger and had forgotten to charge it the night before.  So I emailed the folks at Fitbit to express my disappointment in the draining of the battery because a charge should last at least 5 days.  Well, I have a brand new replacement tracker that came yesterday.  I love the customer service.

We had book club Saturday and folks my members really disliked the book. No, many didn’t even try to finish it.  I did finish it a few hours before the meeting, seriously.  I read on that book for over a month and it was a struggle to finish.  It was one of those books where you have read the author before and found them entertaining but this time, they used a new editor because this book was a hundred pages too long.  However, this month’s read I am almost finished.  Go me!

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Book Club Meeting Selfies…took down the pipe cleaners as well…Notice the curls…wait for it…

My skin is a wreck because of this weather. I did a mask the other night and my face feels better and the dry patches look much better.

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My Boscia relaxation mask…

Today is Caitlyn’s birthday she is officially an adult…It’s your birthday, it’s your birthday! I need to get my voice ready to sing it to her, but I know she ain’t ready for this finely tuned tenor, baritone and alta voice…You all know I can’t sing, right?

We finally have a new grocery store! After almost a year without one in our neighborhood, we got one of the Walmart Neighborhood Grocery’s.  I went the opening day after work and it was a bit of shock because when you normally walk into a Walmart it so huge and the neighborhood grocery is not huge, it is big like a grocery store and that takes a moment to get used to.  I went to get the lay of the land and I picked up random items.  Like avocados.  But I will be doing a full shop hopefully this weekend.

I tried avocadoes again. Sighing…I just sliced them and put lime juice and salt and pepper and cumin on it.  It tasted fine, but my goodness the texture is the problem.  I see why folks prefer them in a guacamole.  Frankly, they do not have any taste to them.  I tried to like it, maybe I should try the guacamole again?

No football for me this weekend I am working. I also working Valentine’s weekend as well.

I need to start getting my head right about my shows which will be on real soon. I watched the 1st episode of American Crime and forgot about it the next week it came on and I guess I just said forget about it now because I am so behind.  I just needed that television break and I didn’t want to be chained to my television.  I spend my time on the ID channel.  Crime really interests me.

Don’t worry my vacation series is almost done. Hopefully, I can get back on a schedule for posting and writing, but again when my mind is loaded I can’t write.  I need to be working on my book club’s editor’s note, but I am stumped.  Sighing…

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Lala told her mama to take a picture of her favorite shirt to show me…Bless her heart and her pearls.

I hope you have a great weekend. I am going to make the most of mine and not allow negativity to find its way into my peace…

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I told you to wait for it…the curls fell, but the ones you see on the left side didn’t even act like they wanted to have tight curl…they gave up. Seriously…LOL!

I am not done

I hope to be back next week with some posts, pictures and randoms.  I have been going through it and getting hit from all sides.  I can’t write when my mind and emotions are in chaos.  I am being faithful right now as I navigate this thing call life.  Seriously, I am too old to be going through it, shit!

I will be back next week…Have a great weekend!

This Is Why I Haven’t Been Blogging…

Sunflowers keep me smiling, even through storms!

Don’t you hate when you miss blogging for a week or more? I do because that means either I have nothing but boring stuff to talk about or life is handing me my azz and I can’t get it together to put words and sentences together.   Well, my azz has been handed to me and it just ain’t making my muse come together for posts.

Last Tuesday, I noticed my air conditioner fan breaker had tripped that morning. And for some reason it took a while for me to get the breaker to stay on, but it did. I had called my cousin to have his electrician come and check the breaker. I took my happy self to work and then return home at lunch to clean up a bit and I noticed the fan had tripped again. Geez, but it came right back on and the air was working fine before I went back to work. I get home that afternoon to get ready for the second job and I checked the fan before I went into the house and it was working but then when I got on my front porch I felt heat coming from my front door. When I opened my door, the heat slapped me right back outside. It was oppressive. I ran in and turned the air condition off and got on the phone to call a repair service. Then I called the second job to get another assistant manager to take my shift. Work had to wait, because I can’t be in my house with no air conditioner, I was having flashbacks to 2010 when we had no air for the majority of the summer.

The technician who came out was friendly and knowledgeable. The whole time I am praying it isn’t too serious. Well…my compressor was gone and he said he wouldn’t put a new compressor in a 27 year old air conditioner. He apologized for giving me such a bad report. I just looked at him a bit shell shocked. Then I called my cousin and she gave me a referral for the folks who replaced her air conditioner a few years ago. I am lucky because I have two window air units from 2010 (well the one in the den has always been there in some type model) so I was able to cool the house off as best I could. And with the aid of some fans the house was comfortable. It was comfortable if you didn’t cook or do too much.

I ended up getting a new air conditioner and getting it financed because who has thousands of dollars on hand to replace air conditioners, at least I didn’t. I had to get my duct work redone because it was so old and made out of fiberglass, which isn’t good for breathing in or for the air condition units of this era. I also had them put new insulation in as well because hell, we only had 3 inches in the attic and some areas were bare. Yeah, I saw the pictures.

So last Friday, I took a day off from the job as they did the air conditioner replace and all the other work they did. They arrived at my home at 9 am on the dot and were done by 3:30 pm. I was surprised they were able to finished in such a tight time frame but it was about 6 guys working together to get things done. It was cool watching them get the items up in the attic and take stuff down. And if you could feel the heat coming from the attic on one our hottest days, you must have some compassion for folks who do this type work.

So I have new air conditioner that has the majority of the house feeling amazing, which it really hasn’t done so in years. The unit is a hybrid (heat pump/gas) with great efficiency, and I should see a significant decline in my utility bills. I also have a hole in my ceiling to go along with the new ac. Yeah, adding to my stress one of the guys stepped through my ceiling. Let me just say, when they showed it to me they had to tell me to breath, because I was about to lose it completely. They will be fixing it in the next week or so. Right now it is covered.

I knew my air conditioner was going to go out. I did. It should have been replaced in 2010, but Sears didn’t want to replace it so they fixed it. I wasn’t surprised but I really wasn’t trying to get a new ac, I was trying to get a new car this year. I had gotten my credit score up and had saved up for the down payment and now that has to be pushed back. And that is why I am stressed. Yes, family is helping pay the bill for the ac, but now I have to wait on a new car and Lord knows I need a new one. However, right now I realize this all happened for a reason and God will bless me with a car soon enough and I just have to be patient. I also know God loves me because the temperatures were mild during the nights and I was more comfortable without the ac than I was when the ac was working. Yep, he loves this girly!

And this is why I haven’t been writing…

The first 24 hours with A/C…

No Sleeep Randoms…

Sunflowers and a Zinnia

I have been away for well over a week from this blog.  I did blog on my anonymous one last week and it has been months since I blogged over there.  However, with so much going on in the last two weeks I needed a place to rant and vent and just feel the emotions soaring through me the last few weeks.  I found myself feeling so empathetic I became overwhelmed with feelings that ran the rampant of good and evil.  I needed to find my happy place.

Thank goodness for my garden.  I even had a nice little harvest.  Let me tell you, fresh green beans from your garden are the best.  Ask my coworker who ate hers cold.  I ate mine hot.  LOL!  There are only a few cold foods I will indulge in and greens beans aren’t on that list.

6/21/15 Harvest

My sister is in NOLA, well in one of the outlying parishes.  She is way out in the boondocks, with very little for entertainment is where she is calling home.  I am side-eyeing the middle of nowhere.  LOL!

Janet.  No Sleeep.  No other words are needed.  This Stan is in hog heaven.  I got home from work last night just in time to see her accept her award.  I screamed with tears…true Stan behavior.

We had book club meeting at the casino some of us went just for the crab legs and shrimp.  We had a good time.  However, don’t ever let my book club members get too hungry.

Me on 6/27/15

A couple of my members had been on vacations to Dominican Republic, Bahamas and some of the wineries in Alabama, we have 6 you know.  I need a vacation.  I got a cruise to Turks and Caicos in November, but I need to relax now!

I am off Friday through Sunday.  I have no real big plans except to do what I want.  I do not even plan to cook.

Well one of the escaped inmates is dead and one is captured in stable condition. And?

Alabama took down there Confederate flags…sighing they had a rally in protest this past weekend.

Bree Newsome took the flag down from the South Carolina state capital and got arrested and the flag was bag waving in the wind about 30 minutes after it had been removed.

I love my President.  I do.  He got in his feelings when he started singing Amazing Grace and he had me in my feelings too.

The President won last week.  The Affordable Health Care plan was upheld, again.  Folks are free to love and marry who they want, so same sex couples have the same rights as all humans.  If you come to my state, you may find it hard to get married whether gay or straight.  Sighing…

Someone come clean my house.  I just needed to dust, vacuum and clean the kitchen.  Please?…

Looks like someone maybe moving into the empty house next door.  They cleaned out the inside and I kid you not, there were 5 televisions on the curb.  I am just hoping whoever moves in is normal and not ratchet.

Reading comments on issues concerning race, gender, sexual preference and religion will make you think there is no humanity left in this world.  And this explains my quiet over the last week or so.

Before I go off on a tangent or become consume by the anger that is simmering within me.  I am going to go work out and work in my garden for peace and strength.

Have a great week.  I hope to be back with a gardening post, a creative cooking post and maybe a Janet Jackson post.

RIP…BB King

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                                                                                               (Source)

When I turned on my radio this morning, Tom Joyner Morning Show stated they were honoring BB King and my heart dropped.  He is gone.  Mr. Thrill is Gone and Lucille has gone on.  I sat in my car with tears flowing over a man I didn’t know personally, but whose music had personally been in my life for as long as I could remember.  Between my Uncle John and my mother, Betty Jean I had no choice but to listen to the blues.  However, it wasn’t until I got older that I recognized how the heart and soul can connect to a blues song that tells the stories of your life more poignantly.

A couple of weeks ago there was a picture floating around the Internet of BB King look frail and near death and I was caught off guard.  He didn’t look like the man I was used to seeing and it broke my heart.  I rather remember him giving the young girl the Lucille guitar after she tried to return it to him.  I want to remember the music and the man who would make my uncle and my mama laugh and cry.

Rest in Paradise, BB King your blues will live on…